I am putting this latest blog post out to say hello to anyone coming here from the radio (or if that was ages ago, or you didn’t come from there, hello as well :)). If you are reading this because you heard me on BBC Essex today please comment, it would be interesting to find out who heard the broadcast
To anyone who identified with what I was saying about having cancer, because they or a family member are going through something similar, I commiserate with you. I know that when the news is fresh you can go through a whole gambit of emotions, disbelief, anger, grief, depression. I also know that very little of what you read will help at this stage. It will mostly be dry information and statistics showing you survival rate and listing gruesome statistics.
I wanted this to be an open letter to the purpose of the blog, now I understand it more. I just want to say that although the news is life changing, you can get through it. Emotionally its tough, really tough. At times you wonder if it is worth it, but things do usually get better. Whether its with treatment and the hopeful remission or a period of time without getting worse, there will be a better time. Even if, god forbid, there is nothing that can be done, please just know that their are others, millions of others, all around the world in the same situation. It is important to not feel alone, even if you’re loved ones can’t deal with it, or can’t empathise. Its tough for them too, but that makes it harder for you. Each person deals with this in their own way, so don’t be afraid to reach out, clam up, or do whatever it is you need to do to get through the difficult time.
I have found time to be the greatest of healers. Don’t get me wrong, I still find it difficult at times. today we sat to watch a Louis Theroux about healthcare in America. I got up and left when it came to terminal cancer it was too unpleasant to hear what was happening to those poor people. Even at times like this the initial pain, shock and numbness does go away and you do learn to cope. You do have to be aware that the feelings do come back from time to time, but never yet as much as when I first found out (although waiting for results comes close).
Some of my early posts, like http://spleniclymphoma.com/2013/09/10/im-not-ok/ were difficult, hard to write and emotional but these level out as time goes by.
It is important to reach out to support networks that are there. Cancer forums, Macmillian, the Lymphoma Association, and any of the hundreds of other amazing organisations run by thousands of amazing people.
Failing that make sure you channel it if you can. I found starting a blog helpful. it got my feelings out there, it helped others and in doing so helped me. It has been incredibly therapeutic and I can only thank my readers who have been with me over the last year.
Its also taken me this long to come to terms with talking to people, who I don’t know, face to face about it. the radio show and the paper articles are the culmination in me dealing with this. I’m sure when I need treatment things will turn again, but for now I am raising as much money and awareness as possible and trying to get the absolute most out of life. I have fulfilled the long held ambition of writing a book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Robert-Mr-Marcus-Evans/dp/1495975606 ) and am happy day to day. I am also giving the money from this to the Lymphoma Association, so am killing two birds with one, well you know how that one goes. I highly recommend you carry out that long delayed goal or aim you had, get it done. See this as something to inspire you, to push you, to make you reach or your dreams. You won’t get any other chances than this and if you have been diagnosed then embrace what you want to do. Other people forget about their goals and never achieve anything they want to. You have to, time is so much shorter than anyone realises. That’s what I have taken away from this and you should do the same.
Anyway please reach out to me if you need someone to talk to, or just fancy passing the time. You can comment on this blog or contact me directly on Marcuslevans@Hotmail.com .
Thanks for reading and listening and I hope to see you on here again soon.
‘That thing you’ve always wanted to do but put off because you were too busy. Yeah, that one. Well go out and bloody do it. Its not a case of follow your dreams, more a kick up the bum to do what you have always wanted to.’ – Thebearwhatcanwrite