blip, buying a house, cancer, deposit, dream home, dream house, haunted house, health, life, life expectancy, money, mortgage, work, world cup
This week I have mostly been working, seeing friends and family and avoiding thinking about the joy of buying a house. Mainly because at a certain stage through the process this becomes less of a joy and more of an irritant.
It goes a little like this. (tongue in cheek as always)
0. Get together and inordinate amount of money. i mean seriously large. Like a year and a half’s wages pre-tax, with no spending. To do this you either, inherit money, get help from your parents, or get a redundancy package (which is how all of my friends have got theirs). Reflect what you could spend this money on, and how hard it has been to save it. What have I gone without e.t.c
1. Decide to move to another place and start the process of deciding where: Low level excitement
2. Decide what type of property (in our case two pre-requisities garden and projects to improve it): Continued low level excitement
3. Start to actually look at places: high level excitement. Could this house be the house of our dreams? Does it meet the criteria? Could we see ourselves spending years there, enjoying the time and growing older in an environment we have created.
4. Decide on a place and make an offer: Extreme excitement and interest. Will they accept the offer, will they negotiate, will we get the house?
5. Offer accepted: YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
Please not this is not the house we are buying and is for illustrative purposes only. To the best of my knowledge this house does exist but I would bet £200 it is not in Witham.
6. Apply for a mortgage: Meh
7. Get a conveyances to do all the surveys, accept the service will be more and assume you will find an inept one: Money and irritation.
8. Get a surveyor to check the house: Money
9. Get asked for a million pieces of paperwork. have to show everything from blood type to favourite type of cheese (exaggeration). Seriously though as an owner of a company they wanted three years of audited accounts, paychecks, passport, proof of address. proof of accounts where the money is paid into, three months of statement, payslips all signed by a third party: Tediousness.
10. Realise that no proof of third party on Conveyances proof of ID, take another week to provide it: Arghh.
11. Wait for bank to value house before crushing realisation that they will undervalue it compared to what you are paying and you will have to reduce the offer or stump up more cash: wait, what happened to my dream? Wasn’t the hard work getting the deposit and then deciding on a house…..
12. Another 2 or 3 months of dicking around by various organisations: Coma
13. Final negotiations around surveyors report, lack of cash from mortgage providers: Angst. Do I even want this house now? The arches under Embankment are starting to look good…
I’m sure when we put an offer in there were less evil hound statues and lightning. That said I think Jo would still like this house…
13. WE EXCHANGED… WE HAVE A NEW HOUSE: excitement.
14. Hand over a lot of cash: Depression, I never used to be this poor.
15. Organise what you want to do to the house: Surely carpets can’t cost that much.
16. Organise removals. Spend a hole day coughing up your kidney as you lift things which are far to heavy.
17. Sigh, eat pizza you are now in your new house.
So at the moment we are sitting in the joys of stage 12. Which is why when anyone asks about the new house I go… MEH, nothing we can do now.
Roll on stage 13 :).
In terms of health I have been fine, although a minor blip of mood on Wednesday night when we were talking about life expectancy and seeing kids growing up. Never look at statistics at this point as they only work IN GENERAL. Note to self, just remember positive thinking and your individual bloods are all that is important.
Work is going really well. I mean like crazily. We have got new contracts coming out of our yazoos (note to self, look up what a yazoo is, it can’t be bad can it?)
One year and one week in and I’m feeling pretty good. Roll on another year, as my video blog from last week said https://spleniclymphoma.com/2014/07/04/cancer-happy-one-year-anniversary-today/
How are you all doing? Feel free to comment and let me know what is happening with my fellow suffers, or indeed if you don’t have lymphoma, how you are in general. You happy? Content? Enjoying the world cup? (Brazil need not reply).
Any road, catch you all on the flip side 🙂
isn’t a yazoo one of those strange things that you blow into and makes a wierd/stupid noise..kinda tube shaped??? ps i am good thanks 🙂