Sit down, strap yourself in and get ready for some classic travelling music. I am once again on a train. Doing my morning commute, as always, with the joys of summer and the fatigue of not enough sleep heavy in my mind.
Actually commuting isn’t too bad. I get to read, contemplate of sleep depending on my whim. I nearly always get a seat and so as long as I don’t dribble on a neighbour in my sleep I’m golden.
In the last few weeks I went to an awesome wedding with a lot of friends, thanks Freddy and Katy! I have also been working further on the patio. I now have seventy full rubble bags, and everytime I dig and think I might be finishing I find more and more big rocks, just below the surface. Probably a life analogy in there somewhere.
Jo and I have finally booked our trip to Mongolia. Yes we are going to Mongolia and China in August. It’s a trip I have wanted to take for a long time, but Jo won the coin toss, so we went to India and Nepal first. That will be a great experience and allow me to get away for a bit, skmething I enjoy doing. It is only when we come back after a while away we appreciate what is working in our life and want is not.
Talking about not working as well as it might, So to my spleen. Not so much not working as growing, in random bursts. Some of the shovel work on the patio jars it (mainly the scrape onto a pile motion). It doesn’t last though, just when I’m doing it. I’m going to talk to the prof about it because I don’t think fleeting pain or discomfort actually mean I am doing any damage. If it is just a case of living with the pain, that is actually ok, because it’s not too bad. I also have a suspicion my spleen has been quietly growing in the last two years (2 years on the 5th of July) and has been causing me indigestion for the last year or so. It could be I am completely wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was impacting my stomach. Luckily Gaviscon is my friend and freely avaliable!
Running is still ok, and I went for a 5k tonight and did about 8:30 minute miles. Not fast by my old standards, but still ok. I will see if it hurts at all on the next few days.
So a few questions but the real one is the blood tests. How fast has the white cell level gone up? That’s the biggy. I have kind of reconciled myself to one point a month, although less would be welcome. Last we saw it I was on 22 I think (I need to check) and its been about six months.
I’m actually a bit nervous about it. It’s been half a year and now it’s time again. It’s funny though as although it’s always progressing slowly, it’s the time of testing that really brings it home.
I guess if I get grumpy people will make allowances, although they might not be able to tell the difference… ;).
The busy social life that we have been having has helped, it lets me forget about it. Even so I think it is good to reflect on the fact I have cancer now and again. Dealing with it is not forgetting it is there, but living despite it. I think I need to use it to spur me on. Of late my goals have been very straightforward. Sort out the garden, keep working hard.
After my tests come back I think I’ll feel better unless they are unexpectedly bad. At least I can ignore it for another 9 months. I sometimes wonder if I’ll get used to going to the doctors, but is suspect not, it’s a confrontation with your own mortality, and those should and can never be taken lightly.
I seem to have veered a little of track from where I intended. Maybe because I am thinking of this at the end of the day after Jo has been out all night and I have had some me time. I guess I’ll sleep on it and see things differently tomorrow. I do that a lot as a person. It’s tough to stay down when a positive mindset is only a nap away!
I’ll catch you chaps next week, either way.